Recently, a few parents have asked me how to talk to their children about race. It’s a big topic, and one that can feel difficult to approach.
One thing I’ve learned is that our DNA doesn’t hold “race” characteristics. Science shows that neither race nor ethnicity can be found in the human genome. (Sources below!)
Race is a social construct, a way society has grouped people over time.
Because this comes up often, I’ve shared some of the questions parents have asked me and how I’ve answered them.
When and how should we discuss race with children?
There’s no such thing as too young when it comes to talking about race. Children start noticing skin colour and differences from an early age. Talking openly helps them make sense of what they see and hear.
One of the easiest ways to start is through books.
Books give you language to use, help frame conversations, and make things feel natural rather than awkward.
Here are a few lovely options:
- My Skin, Your Skin by Laura Henry-Allain, brilliant for ages 4+
- Mixed: A Colourful Story by Arree Chung, great for ages 3+
- Ten Little Fingers and Ten Little Toes by Mem Fox and Helen Oxenbury, perfect for ages 0 to 5
Should we just say “we’re all the same”? Aren’t differences better ignored?
It’s easy to want to focus on what connects us, and yes, kindness and shared humanity matter. But saying “we’re all the same” can overlook the experiences and identities that make each of us unique.
No two people are the same.
Each of us brings our own cultural references, the food we eat, the music we love, the stories we tell, the traditions we share.
That diversity is what makes life rich.
Talking about those differences helps children value and respect them, in themselves and in others.
Sources
Miriam Njogu, Photography +, Brighton and Hove, Sussex 
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